THE CHILD, THE PARENT AND ADULT STRESS
The small and engaging book by L. Sepulveda, "History of a seagull and the cat who taught 'to fly," (1996, Puffin ed.) Tells of a cat named Zorba, who has the task of dealing with the birth and growth of Fortunata, a seagull very nice, growing in the conviction of being a cat. There comes a day when Lucky has to learn to fly and Zorba the cat, will be tasked to teach what he himself is not able to do, learning to fly. Being a parent of a dove is not easy task for a cat but decided, in its promise, devises a series of strategies. Until ...
How to be good parents? Difficult, the answer to that question. Perhaps, as did the cat Zorba. Entrusting ourselves to the natural instincts of nurturing and protection of nature, referring to his experience as a child, listening to suggestions and views of others, seeking answers in the 'Encyclopedia "(as did the cat Diderot, the learned friend of Zorba). Taken together, all this and more.
become good parents is a difficult and delicate task. Requires care, dedication, effort, ability to recognize their mistakes, patience and love. It would also require the ability ability to be good parents to themselves, before they and their children. But this is a huge task because you know, it's easier to do other parents rather than themselves. It seems funny that in an age where everything seems to revolve around the "rights of children" there are the obvious and paradoxical opposition in terms of "reality." They, the difficulties do not seem to help the children, nor parents, in particular measure, say they need to understand to understand. The status symbol that the "company" proposes to us are always generous in offering "attractive explanation." Not to mention the "good and constructive "examples. The centers, more and more, in big cities are full of children and winners of Academy Awards at the same time. Dance, singing, sports, martial arts, music, art in all its forms. They can become a VIP Small able to perform on TV, with knowledge and confidence, great clothes, make-up of great actors. The expert use of computer, mobile phone, scooter and even, without a license dell'automobilina have taken, now moving over the cartoons Heidi Bee Maja, Anne of Green Gables, Remi. The dolls, antiques of the recent past, or are just about to be dressed as princesses and makeup from famous models. The bike! No, you can hardly see anymore. Big poor children forced to walk in single file to allow the passage of cars from the crazy city traffic. Perhaps lacking the sidewalks but they cost too much for the anonymous streets of the suburbs. And when there is a need to learn to be able to give priority to scooters. The wealthy children driven to school or center ballet-dancing Latin / American car with mum or dad, just freshly polished. Impatient, as often happens, because there is the tension of not wanting to be late at the office or because there is still shopping to do and, in a while ', also closes the supermarket. A sunny day in the country over the weekend seems like the page a novel of the early twentieth century where you could see children running happily on the lawn or pick ripe fruit from trees that Mother Nature gave generously. They played with the land and water, made them into mud, then create molds with the help of artistic imagination. He improvised warriors, fighters, adventurers, with the weapons of war dead branches of trees collected from the ground .. They studied the behavior of butterflies, snails, insects and sometimes even became the "terrible killers." Yet in a country reente trip with some friends and a nice group of kids, I had the opportunity to see how small they were able and competent in being able to copy, meticulously, the play of imagination page novel narrated in the early twentieth century. They were happy and excited. In the evening, after a few hours after sunset, showed hostility gotta get away. I wonder why.
Perhaps, what may surprise most is that the rules are being changed. And not only the rules of the game. We feel manipulated by a company that is rapidly changing, too quickly. It accuses all the effects, both positive and negative together. There "must" adapt, otherwise we run the risk of being IGNORANT. And this can not influence us in the desire to give children the best we can give them. But perhaps it is useful to ask who is also that builds the company and its rules. If "the better we do for children is what is really necessary for them, makes them feel good and helps them grow strong, capable, determined. Asha Phillips (1999, 2008) points out, in a highly accurate, as the ability of parents to be able to give rules and boundaries for very small children, is essential for their good and their healthy psychological growth. In general, mothers are completely projected onto their children, as to make the report "an exclusive relationship." A relationship in which the father stops for a variable period of time, and they feel the woman's partner and co-creator of the birth of their baby. Knowing how to make borders small, says Phillips, is rather good and healthy is to protect the emotional intimacy of the couple, both for the balanced growth of their child. For example, when the baby cries because he does not want to be left alone even a minute is important to speak softly but with firm resolve, saying, "Now, the mother needs to talk to Dad. You can wait. You are full, cleaned, filled an entire afternoon spent playing together and walk, just you and me. So please, wait. Then, we will be right with you. " With sentences like this and with the help of friend and father, mother and parents together, provide the child's perception of the limit, the border, are the ego. Exist. The child is only when it can become a keen observer of his surroundings and, in particular of his body. It 's like saying to himself "Toh! Looks a bit '. These are my hands! He began to learn that there is a difference between self and other. Crescendo will learn that there are boundaries between self and other, between self and the outside world. Will recognize the usefulness of good interaction with other people and the wider environment to which it belongs. Accept and respect the rules that govern the world thanks to his "no" and "yes" that the parents were able to skillfully convey. Also learn to say "yes" and say "no" defending his views and values, internal reference, in a socially appropriate and respectful. Recognize that he is influenced by others but which can also influence others.
Something like this, for example, can happen when we ask if the breakfast brought to school by the child is really good for him and his growth. If we have the possibility to avoid or eat less than industrially produced yet another snack, or if we can replace the piece of pie with delicious prepared in his company during the afternoon. We leave or no influence "unconditionally" to the other and ourselves? We can discuss it or not, even with children, because the snack has less "wise" of the tart? Can we say "no" even when they make a fuss? Or not we can avoid that they are always to give priority to their scooters and to "auto unnerved" by the stress of the city? We defend the parks of the city of abandoned waste and often dangerous to the health of children? We comply with the 'green area "and acknowledge the legitimate need for them to want to play? It goes on and on ... There is, in any case to ask, we say no? And what, perhaps, more importantly, we know how to do to say yes?
Today there is greater need than ever to rediscover the parent and, especially, we need to recognize the adult parent (L. Boggio Gilot 1997, 2006, 2010).
read articles and articles to make them grow well, to communicate with them in the proper order. We must, however, add that sound communication is not a technique, not a way to make only. There are so many children and many parents. It would be perhaps appropriate to ask how we can find the novel too Adults.
References:
-Boggio Gilot L., "Growing beyond the" I "- and 1997-Citadel.
-Boggio Gilot L., "Healing the mind and heart" -2010 - Satya, and AIPT.
-Phillips A., "I no that help to grow" -1999, 2008 - Feltrinelli ed.
